Saltalamacchia?

Ralph and Tom interviewed the GM of the SF Giants on Tuesday night and Ralph (as usual) was so inept in his baseball knowledge that it led Brian Sabean to actually just sit silently while dead air ran over the KNBR waves. Here are my favorite RalphMoments from this inteview:

Ralph: I mean can you see where it would be disappointing to a lot of Giants fans Brian...I love Randy Winn. I mean he's been solid for the last few years. But he's really a number two hitter. He's not really a leadoff hitter. Molina's really a number 6 hitter. He's not really a cleanup hitter clogging up the basepaths with his lack of speed again. I mean I guess last year i think everybody gave you a pass because they were excited to see the young players but to throw this lineup out there again uh Lewis...I'm not even sure....

Ralph does this a lot. He leads into one of his questions with a laundry list of things he knows or at least believes he knows about the subject. I always feel so sorry for the person being interviewed cause they have to listen to him gloat his so-called knowledge about something for 5 minutes before he actually gets to his question. Luckily, Sabean has been on the show enough to understand this about Ralph and cuts him off before he can go on for another five minutes giving his expert opinion on the Giants whole roster to the man who created the roster. Also, to steal from multiple sources, I hate the term "clogging up the basepaths." What is so wrong about being on base? Last I looked, you have to be on base to score. Please everyone stop using this ridiculous phrase.

Sabean (cutting off Ralph): Ralph, you can't make a move for the sake of making a move. At the end of the season, we've pretty much known who's going to be in the market including the trade market and we've pretty much thoroughly investigated that whomever you'd give up including Sanchez (Jonathan Sanchez) as I pointed out in the press briefing. They have warts. They have a year left on the contract and then they go into free agency. We're not going to do that. There's somebody out there that's probably a defensive liability that's not going to help us out that much more in terms of being an all around player. As you go through each scenario and the fact that we are looking for infield options versus we don't need outfield options and some of the outfield options that are available on a "power basis" are so inept defensively that it would be counter productive. You only can do what you can do. You can't make a move for sake of making a move.

Sabean is quite perturbed at this point with Ralph. You can tell that he hates having to defend his moves and lack of moves with this moron. He states his case very concisely that he's looked over all the options out there and that there isn't anything that looks right for the Giants right now. So according to Sabean he has looked everywhere, turned over every stone, kicked every tire, but Ralph being the all-knowing, omniscient being that he is has THE SOLUTION:

Ralph: What about Saltalamacchia?

Holy Shit. Where in the world did he pull this obscure player from? Obviously, Ralph overheard somebody somewhere talking about Jarrod Saltalamacchia and figured he'd drop this little gem on Sabean to show just what a baseball genius he is. Jesus. I love Sabean's response to this as he can barely hold himself back from flat out calling Ralph a complete idiot.

Sabean(Laughing): Saltalamacchia...Why?

Seriously...Why? Well Ralph has the perfect response to such a query into his genius.

Ralph: Because I understand that he can play some first base

Brilliant. Simply brilliant. You know..... I can play some first base. Perhaps if you're reading Brian you could give me a shot. You'll only have to give up Jonathan Sanchez. You know that pitcher that has been steadily improving year after year and seems about to break out as a dependable number two if not number one starter. That's all. And then you get ME who can "play some first base". Seems logical.

Sabean: Why would Texas give up a young player like that? I'm missing the point

The point is Brian that there is no point. Ralph was just trying to show off that he actually knew who Jarrod Saltalamacchia was or that he could just pronounce his name correctly which he didn't. By the way, number of games played by Saltalamacchia at 1st base at the major league level: 0.

Ralph continues to strafe Sabean with multiple names of people that he'd like to see Sabean go after including Randy Johnson. This is where Sabean just gives up and stops talking which leads to about 5 seconds of dead air. I love when guests hate Ralph as much as I do and I believe Sabean may even hate him more. God bless you Brian Sabean.